When I recently took my career break at 40, I thought this freedom would feel like peace and that I deserved it.
But for the last 4 months, it’s felt like a free fall from the sky. I’ve taken that jump from a plane with no guarantee that the parachute will open on time.
Every day I still ask myself: “Did I make the right decision?” Every day, I see my colleagues getting appreciation in my office WhatsApp groups, while I don’t even get my salary now. And every day, the doubt returns: Should I go back to my job?
Have I really done the right thing?
But there is one thing I am 100% sure about: I am happier than I have ever been. After 15 years of a stable banking career, jumping into uncertainty felt like madness.
But the taste of freedom is priceless, and I wouldn’t trade my time for anything.
Here are 5 things I’ve learned in the last 100 days or so:
1️⃣ Freedom doesn’t feel peaceful at first.
You doubt yourself every day. I doubt myself every day, and my mind tells me to take steps immediately.
But my heart tells me that the day will somehow be over.
2️⃣ You will compare yourself every single day.
To colleagues, friends, and anyone with a stable life and a regular income. Comparison is easy; building life again from scratch is hard. But I guess, life is not predictable either.
3️⃣ Your family won’t have the answers.
My family is happy seeing me around 24 hours. My wife says, “If you’re happy, go ahead.” Not because she’s clueless, but because she supports my decisions and trusts that I'll make the right choices for her and my kid.
4️⃣ You won’t see your future clearly for a while.
I guess I’m fine with this. I haven’t been able to figure it out even in the last 4 months.
Rome was not built in a day, and neither is freedom.
5️⃣ Listening to your heart is the only real stability in life.
We’re often told that a stable job is the real stability in life.
I listened to my mind all this while… and I assume my life is 50% over. Now, let me listen to my heart for the next 50%.
My decision may not be perfect, and my path may not be clear.
But I’m sure of one thing: if I am happy and I am alive, I will surely figure it out.