For most years of my job, I became “Manager Saab.”
So much so that I even started responding to unknown voices calling someone else “Manager Saab.”
1. 𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘺:
As a government employee, you often become accustomed to a certain level of respect in society. And when your position involves public dealing, discretionary powers, and decision-making authority, you start expecting that respect from everyone around you.
You often forget that the respect isn’t for you, but for the chair you occupy.
2. 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘦:
This sense of duty is drilled into employees so deeply that they start to feel indispensable. You’re told your company's profits depend on your performance.
3. 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥:
I remember a family occasion, maybe a pooja, where everyone expected me to be there. But this work identity had become so deeply engraved in me that I didn’t even ask my boss for leaves. I assumed he’d say no because it was a “busy period.”
Looking back, maybe it wasn’t that difficult, if only I had asked.
4. 𝘝𝘢𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘈𝘱𝘱 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 :
No matter where I was, on vacation, at home, or with family, I would still check the office WhatsApp group, just to see if something important was happening, or if my input was needed.
As if the office couldn’t move forward without me.
5. 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘺:
How could I leave at 5? That’s what average employees do, right?
I told myself I was different; committed, responsible, giving my 200%. Soon, 8 pm became the norm.
Sometimes it was pressure. Sometimes duty. Sometimes self-imposed guilt.
🟨 𝗡𝗼𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲.
But this “commitment” is fed slowly into your brain, through culture, comparison, and subtle humiliation.
I was:
• Made to feel guilty for asking for leave.
• Told that leaving on time means you lack sincerity.
• Constantly reminded that the food I eat is because of my employer. So, I must be grateful, loyal, & available.
And when everyone around you performs 100%, the unspoken question becomes: what more can you do for the organisation?
I’m short of words to describe this feeling, but I think the closest I can come to is “𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘 𝙡𝙤𝙮𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙮.”
Is this what we studied for ? To become mindless zombies who mistake obedience for dedication?
Why do some multinational corporations or government systems deliberately train their best minds to follow every word from their bosses without question?
How are you learning to balance it?